So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
