Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He's on the porch naked. Help.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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