His pubic hair was longer than his dick
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
