he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize