Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
