Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize