I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
