What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
