so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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