things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize