Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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