I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
