I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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