Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
