Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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