chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
