yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
