I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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