Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
