you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
