i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
