I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
