I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
