Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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