Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
