But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
