i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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