I love black thongs
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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