Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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