So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
