me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
