Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
