i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
