dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
