that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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