We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
