So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
