this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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