Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
