I think i peed on brittanys purse
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I need moral support for this bender
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
