Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
it's great music for shaving your balls
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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