did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm too high and old for this...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
