Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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