Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
