Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
