What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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