Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think your dad took our porno
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
