I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
