i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Another day, another engagement, another cat
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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