just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i was born a porn star she said
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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