Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
