I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
you had me at cake vodka
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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