I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
