I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
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This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
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We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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