I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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