just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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