I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
