Need sex. Gaining weight.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
