i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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