my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
