Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
